Words To The Wise

A double-post: I highly doubt this will ever happen again, but I'm incensed.

DRINK ON YOUR OWN
There are many benefits to this - if you get sad and morose, there's no one there to have their ear talked off. So you deal with it on your own. Also there is no need to try and keep up with everyone else.
You can play drinking games: hide your wallet, drink a bottle of scotch, and try to figure out who you are.

BELIEVE HALF OF WHAT YOU SEE AND NONE THAT YOU HEAR
Simple as that. The world is full of garbage, and the meaning of a sentence can be changed with a single word. A healthy level of skepticism will keep you alive and well. Much like the proverbial apple, if you believe that...

THE FORCE IS A CROCK - BUT GUTS ARE COOL
There are fanboys haemorrhaging right now, but I stand firm. There is no fate, no destiny, (karma is a dodgy concept that I think really just hinges on interpretation of coincidence), but GUTS, they have a level of perception that we can't gain with our minds. At least not consciously. Trust in their guidance, they know all kinds of stuff and they are rarely wrong.

WHATEVER DOESN'T KILL YOU ONLY MAKES YOU STRONGER
Neil Finn found a punchier way of saying that, and it's true. (one person I knew extrapolated this to a ridiculous conclusion - if you survive having your arms and legs removed you're NOT stronger, in fact you're in a very poor position)
We live and learn. If you learn, then yes you are stronger for the experience. If you don't then you deserve to go through whatever ordeal it is, again.

BE SELFISH - RULE YOUR OWN WORLD
It is a virtue to be able to consider the effect your actions have on others, and to work accordingly. It's also time consuming and highly inefficient. There are times when you should throw caution to the wind and live for yourself. Just do it. Don't think twice. LIVE A LITTLE.

Enjoy!

I’ve Got The Music In Me

(so someone please call a doctor – invasive surgery urgently required)

For those who don’t follow my every waking moment, I am going to give you a little insight into my musical history, and aspirations relating to said area. For those who DO follow my every waking moment…

Stop. Now.

At a young age, I fear I must have shown some aptitude at arranging noises into sequences. Whether this was done consciously, through a trial-and-error process to find the combinations that were least uncomfortable, or whether it was more of a Rain-Man-esque ability, I don’t quite know. But I do know that I was put into violin lessons at a very young age.

This was so far back that I often don’t believe it happened. But it did, we have proof – a very small violin which squeaks just the way I dream/remember it to. As you may have guessed (and quite rightly), I don’t play the violin anymore. There is no empirical proof, but I believe this is about the same time I discovered cartoons, such as Astro Boy, Voltron and Transformers.

Interesting Yet Useless Fact: Astro Boy and Mickey Mouse both have a peculiar design rule that requires both of their ears to be in sight, no matter what angle they are viewed from.

Next cab off the rank was what I can assume is some kind of industry standard – the piano. At the time, I don’t remember particularly liking it. And lessons were held before school, so we had to be up and out earlier than usual. (anyone who does know me, knows just how much I LOVE mornings. LOVE THEM.) But I soon grew bored of the piano. An instrument that allows you to accompany yourself, is fairly easy to pick up, and I now hold in the highest regard, and not even bribery/incentives could keep me playing. HOW FOOLISH WAS I??
(note: past tense – I’m no longer foolish. Ask anyone.)

Then there was the compulsory battle with the recorder in primary school – that instrument perplexes me to this day. It does not record. It does not AID your own ability to record…the name is a complete misnomer. I hate the name. I hate the instrument too, by the way.

Interesting Yet Useless Fact: In the original story that “The Little Mermaid” is based on, she had to kill the Prince and his wife for her to become a mermaid once again…rather than kill them, she threw herself in the sea and dissolved into foam.

During high school, I still wanted to play something. Something capable of creating pleasing noises. I ended up dabbling with the clarinet for a number of years, but the real problem with woodwind instruments (apart from very few being made of wood), is that it takes so much damn effort! Anyone who plays the bag-pipes is some kind of pulmonary masochist. Nay, I say, no more of the black and silver blowpipe.

Interesting Yet Useless Fact: “He-Man and The Masters Of The Universe” was created after a fantasy range of Conan-styled action-figures had been commissioned. To all intents, the cartoon series was just a collection of 22min ads for the toys.

So for a long time I had to do with no instruments, as I was pretty crap at them, and I really had no interest to master a piece of expensive and intricate machinery that I really had no use for. So I sang. That’s been an activity with mixed responses, let me tell you. But now I have SELENE! The black beauty who is always close at hand, morning noon or night, and is easily coaxed into life by a quick strum.

Yes…years later…I have aspirations of starting a band, with my new-found talent that is slowly emerging. Over the last year, with nothing but the internet, an awesomely thorough book and at least a good dozen hours of practice, I have been teaching myself to play guitar. And yes, the aspirations of a band. I’ll be the first to admit it, but I’m not really that crash hot at being serious about things. So if I was to be in a band, it’d have to be a band that took the piss out of itself, or was one big joke that everyone was in on. I like to rock, too, so the band would have to do that.

The line up is yet to be confirmed (I’ve called some people who know some people, and they are all going to go have lunch), but it looks like this could actually be happening. The band’s name? The most important element – the feature that will draw in the crowds, and make them wonder at the bizarre performance that will unfold.

SLAPSTICK APOCALYPSE!

Oh yes, we are here to rock and laugh your socks off. YOAH!

Q: Do you remember singing any songs as a kid? The Indiana Jones theme. Repeatedly.
Song For The Day: "Strange Condition" by Pete Yorn