The World's Greatest Defective

As They Might Be Giants once said “I’ve often been told that you can only do what you know well”. What I know how to do well, is rant. And figure stuff out. Ranting about solutions? Quite possibly.

You can ask anyone if I’m much of a detective, and more often than not, they’ll say “Who’s thenick? Why are you talking at me?” But those that do know me, know that I spend a fair amount of my waking time pondering questions that are yet to receive full and comprehensive answers. No, I’m still not sure on why Starbucks don’t make thicker cups instead of giving us two every time. I’m working on it!

I was walking to work last week, when all of a sudden the weight of society’s unsolved questions feel upon me. Normally, I’m ready for such a thing, and if you brace yourself properly, you can take the weight across your shoulders, and it’s no more effort than lugging a bag full of exercise books home during high school. Personally I used to leave my books at school therefore negating the ability to do homework, so I really don’t know how this feels. (same goes for graduating – never been there, never done that) I’ve been told the weight of a laden backpack/world’s grief are comparable sensations. But the weight took me by surprise, and flattened me to the sidewalk. The footpath on Swanston St doesn’t taste anywhere near as good as I would have liked to think it did.

After a moment of mental dismissals and physical dusting I put the event behind me, with only a few select questions to keep me busy for the day. The first were a bit lightweight, but questions nonetheless:

-What’s the big attraction with sudoku puzzles?
-Why does everything cause cancer in mice?
-What’s the difference between a Jurassic Park and Sensis?

Quite simple.

-A simple logic puzzle you can do if crosswords are out because your vocabulary sucks.
-It doesn’t. Mice themselves ARE cancer – it’s just that no one’s thought to test that yet.
-One’s a high-tech amusement center whose prehistoric content is running amok, and the other is a Spielberg film.

But the question that really bothers me? The question that, like a nasty sliver of corn chip, wedges itself between the molars of my mind and will spend the rest of the day irritating me until inspiration, like a toothpick frees me from it’s inquisitive grasp?

Nah, forgotten it.

Q: What would your last meal be? Roast chicken and veg. Yep, simple at heart, simple by nature.
Song For The Day: "Mantra" by The Tea Party.